+ 我只是想要...... +
Dunno how to go abt writing tis post.Till nw i m still nt convince tat i got a 7 for maths.I put in so much effort since N lvl until i almost gave up during prelim n buck myself up aft prelim.Mr yong was disappointed n so do i.I cant figure out y all e effort didnt pay off.Everyone tot i wld get below 20 n above avg in class but i onli did avg.Mr yong was afraid tat i wld breakdown upon receiving e result so he got mummy to sit beside him and i didnt.I was too cool when collecting result 硬撑.Almost cried while talking to ou nai nai,i cried over e phone while talking to mummy but she didnt noe.
______________________
ou nai nai: 'u ok mah?'
me: 'i m ok' (trying nt to show any sadness)
while i almost cried thn ms wong came n cut e conversation,so i quickly try so hard to go back normal mode.
______________________
Phone call wif mummy.
mummy: 'so r u ok?'
me: (sounding happy when tears already covered my whole face)'oh i m ok,no prob jus so very disappointed wif maths lor'
mummy: 'so whr r u gg?'
me: 'sld b msia lor'
mummy: 'okie i will go visit u once in a while thn'
me: 'hmm ok'
很抱歉没什么能让你们值得骄傲的。
_______________________
While i was so prepared to go msia lindsey came n talk to me on msn.
lindsey: 'u very sure u wan to go msia n do tis course?'
me: 'no choice if i got 15pts i wld hav stayed'
lindsey: 'u noe gg oversea is very tough n u r gg 4yrs lei,u might jus loose all ur frens when u come back.though msia is so near but still it wld b diff when u return'
me: 'i noe,of course it wld b tough in e begining i will still b afraid n unsure afterall is a new place'
lindsey: 'i m so afraid to noe tat u r so prepared to me is so scary'
_______________________
She encourage me to take private dip course in sg 1st n see if i really like studying hotel management.I m considering if i can find gd one in sg,taylor is e best hotel in KL afterall.Wat struck me the most is e part where she mention abt i might loose all my frens when i come back.My onli concern is will my VIPs still b as close as we r nw or will they still love me as much as like nw? or i wld end up in e 'freezer' 4 yrs later? if i wld end up in e 'freezer' i wld b very much depressed.
I was waiting for fel to call but she didnt nt even a msg.Cherlyn wans me to accompany her to study in aust but i cant unless my mum strike TOTO or 4D.Email-ed mrs hee my results, suprisingly she didnt comment anything abt my maths grade.she n lindsey said i sld go b a scientist sad to say i dont like working in labs.Right nw i dunno how to describe my feelings but i hav no regrets at all bcos i really work hard for O's jus tat efforts didnt pay off.