+ Sometimes i jus dunno how. +
I could sense tat u have things in ur mind left unsaid.
I felt some lost, running awy, heaviness.
Dunno whether i m right or wrong.
Dunno how to go abt expressing wat i felt.
All i noe is to try my best to stay by ur side.
So many times i felt like doing something but i end up didnt do it.
Maybe is fear of rejection i dunno...
Open up, open up!
+ Special. +
Tat sentance at station 1 turned my attendtion to u.
Tat card made re confirmation.
How many ppl could buy e correct gift tat u wanted without even asking.
How many ppl could actually flow without knowing wat was e conversation all abt.
How many ppl can think wat u r thinking within 10 secs.
How many ppl can think wat u r thinking jus by looking at u.
How many ppl can b tat scarifical to go all e way to KL in e middle of e nite to pick u up.
How many ppl would wan to watch a movie genre which she dun like jus bcos u wanna watch.
How many ppl would wake up to fetch u early in e morning when slping is a fav pastime.
How many ppl would eat things tat she dun like jus bcos is u who cooked it.
-----------------------------
U may nt express much, but whenever u does it is sweeter thn any honey in e world.
Your ears r best to withstand all my rubbish.
----------------------------
One future engineer, one future hotelier. One indo, one singaporean brought nt far to meet in msia. Totally opp character yet share a special flow. Things like these nt many ppl have but we r sharing it together, wat more to say i treasure all these more thn diamonds. Very very special indeed.
Tat lucky fella is YUNNY SANUSI!!!
感动吗？Esther 最疼的人。
+ 如果。。。 +
你开心，我为你跟感到开心。
你快乐，所以我快乐。
你失眠，我也会失眠。
你不爽，我会为你打包不平。
你忘记，我会记得。
你伤心，我就在你左右。
你想哭，就用我的肩膀。
你苦恼，让我帮你想。
你想要，我会给。
你想吃，我会煮。
我会想劲一切作我能做的，不论是大或小事。能让你开心，幸福就是我想看到的。
哈哈！羡慕吧！不好意思，有人已经有专属权了。请到后面排队拿号码， 呵呵。
+ 感情。 +
我还蛮以外从你口中听到那些话，有一种莫名的感动。
其实我们心里都有很多未发表出来的内心话。
我很想听，但我自己也不知道该这么样表达出来。
人就是很奇怪，有话又不说，又怕伤害也怕被伤害。
我觉得人与人之间理想的话不因该会有陌生感尤其是感情非常要好的。
当然我也褐忘我能有一个这样的人，他会毫不隐满地告诉我他的一切，我也可以把所有我想说的统统说出来。
我们都在努力。。。
+ 我不想。 +
每当我一旦找到我想要的我就会很珍惜我所拥有的，人，事，物。
但是一旦被自己最疼惜的人遗弃，心里就会留下一道道深深的疤。
日子久了，从新爬起来。
我害怕失去，害怕你会像他们一样一个个的离我而去。。。
我很想再次张开胸怀，不想看到自己自私的样子，但又怕被伤害。
我不可以不承认自己的占有欲很强。
所以我很懊恼。。。
+ I dont want u to feel that... +
Your choice is wrong by:
1. Being ur daughter
2. Asking me to do certain things
3. Making me as ur bestie
4. Asking me out
5. Not meeting your expactations
6. Grooming me
7. Teaching me
+ Past & Now. +
Nothing to do went to read all my old post. Some were very funny, wonder y i wld react tat way at tat time. Some were very touchy, i did so many things to impress ppl. Some were very sweet, how i got to noe xiao bing mummy, ou nai nai, mrs hee, fel. Some were emotional, shows how much i can miss a person, failed to do certain stuff. Records of me singing infront of big crowds, drama, bball, being praised by tcher, awards....3 yrs...I have grew. Now probably lesser crowd, lesser comment (I still welcome comments fr those faithful readers). I can write wat i wan, talk watever i wan haha(KL readers u r privillage cos i didnt reveal to many in KL). Do take a look at my past post, n compare it wif nw. Do tell me wat u feel. *smiles*
+ Simply happy 3.(Equations) +
Equations were nvr my fren onli today i had fun with them.
1. Goh + Goh = Neoh laughing
2. Goh + Neoh = Goh laughing oso
3. Goh + Neoh + Goh = Never ending laughter
4. Esther + Balcony = Deep in tots
5. Esther + Cooking = Love
6. Esther + Sleeping too much = Waste of time
7. Esther + Long Slience = Something is not right
Wat do u think? Anything more u can form?
+ Simply happy 2. +
God bless my dearest....
I pray i m right, & everyone is right....
Let Your will be done...
Fei Zai jia you lei...
+ Simply happy. +
Sat: Preparing to go BS, everything was so rush due to last min decisions. Reached church look for place to have BS cafe,all e little rooms, office all taken and occupied. No choice walked to chec, settle down, books out bibles out. When we left office sandy mention tat she needs to talk abt personnal things, my heart + mind paused n say something is nt right. I tot i have to be prepare to me lectured so on e way to chec i was quite tensed liao thinking anything tat i have said wrong or done wrong?
Sandy started talking abt cg stuff, hows my relationship wif others n so on. Thn getting into very serious stuff leadership, restoring relationship due to pass offences, visions, wat she wans fr me. Those were things tat no one has ever talked to me abt. No one talked to me like tat b4, no one has ever speak to my life in such a manner.
Talking abt leadership i m super duper happy la, opportunities came, i m told wat is wan of me.
Working on it.
Ms sandy, probably u wont see tis but jus wan u to noe u r special in my life. Still thinking of which post to give u.
+ I need strength. +
Flash back came, I fear of losing this n that.
Probably is bcos I put my heart in alot, thus every reaction was greatly manified.
I was quite disappointed, dunno why?
Insecurity HIT...
Got so many things to say, but dunno wat to say?
Confused...
For e moment I dunno where i stand.
After so long i feel like crying.
Cry real hard.
Lord i need strength...
+ Sometimes it is jus so hard. +
So hard to reject calls.
So hard to stay awake in a super cold class room.
So hard to understand the things i want to understand.
So hard to know what is in ur mind.
So hard to know cost accounting.
So hard to pronunce french words.
So hard to find gd food in college.
So hard to prank ppl i love.
So hard to reject annoying ppl when they r jus too innocent.
So hard to control my emotion.
So hard to overcome cravings.
Well, someone told me b4 "if it is hard jus pour water to make it soft". Who is gg to be that water? I know is U.